Announcer: Hey, listeners. The demographics department of The Awful Show has informed us that listeners in the 4-8 year old age range has increased over 1300% over the past 6 months. Well, we're always sensitive to the needs of our listeners. That is why we have developed the latest and greatest talking doll available. From the makers of the My First Li'l Meth Lab comes...
Billy: Good kids take money from Daddy's wallet when he's not looking!
Announcer: Bad Billy is the soft cuddly pal who says 6 different phrases.
Billy: Only cool kids drink Mom and Dad's booze!
Announcer: Bad Billy is durable and fireproof, so he isn't easily destroyed by small minded parents and relatives.
Billy: It's okay to touch your sister's naughty parts!
Announcer: Bad Billy also has a GPS tracking module that you can view on the internet when your parents try to take him away.
Billy: Throw your brother out the window. It's okay, he can fly!
Announcer: And if a bully tries to steal your Bad Billy, he is even equipped with a remote controlled security tazer system, which plunges needles deep into the bully's flesh and sends 5,000 volts through their body.
Billy: Ask your mommy if she likes it up the ass!
Announcer: For your next birthday or holiday, ask your parents for Bad Billy. If the don't get it for you, threaten to burn the house down while they sleep.
It's the last friend you'll ever need! We guarantee it!
Bad Billy is available wherever fine Awful Show Toys are sold. For more details, visit theawfulshow.com.
Billy: The cat likes it when you stick a pencil up it's ass!