In this commercial, Keyz plays a dual part to sell a baby-sitting solution.

Script Edit

(baby crying)

Woman (on the phone): But sir, I can't work late tonight! I couldn't possibly find a sitter to come out on such short notice.

(chattering on other end)

Woman: Yes, sir. I do like my job. I'll stay late tonight.

(hangs up phone)

Woman: Now what am I going to do. It's so hard for a single mother these days.

Announcer: Well, don't feel bad. You see there are many women these days who are simply too stupid to keep their legs closed. But Dynamic Product Development may have the answer. Of course, it is obviously too late for an abortion, it isn't too late to pick up...

The Cryositter!

Woman: The Cryositter? What's that?

Announcer: Why The Cryositter is a marvel in small-scale cryogenic technology. You simply place your child in the cryochamber and press the "Suspend" button. You child is almost instantly frozen cryogenically and remains in suspended animation until you are able to tend to it again. Just press the "Reanimate" button and your child is gradually heated to their standard body temperature, unharmed and unaware of any time you were away.

The Cryositter can be used any time you are unable to care for your offspring. Whether you are working a double shift at work or just want to spend some quiet time at home, The Cryositter will give you the freedom from the burdensome drudgery of parenthood.

Woman: Wow! The Cryositter really is a wonder! I wish I wasn't such a slut. But thanks to The Cryositter, life as a single mother just got easier.

Announcer: And new from DPD is the Super Cryositter. Designed especially for those welfare sucking leeches who don't seem to do anything BUT spread their legs. The Super Cryositter holds up to 8 small children, or 4 obese children.

Go to today and if you type in the coupon code Maury, you will receive free shipping.

Don't delay; get The Cryositter today.

The Cryositter!

Because pussy is all you have to offer.

The Cryositter!

Available at all Worst Buy and Circuit Country location or buy online at

Notes of Interest Edit

  • Worst Buy and Circuit Country are parody names of electronics stores Best Buy and Circuit City respectively.
  • This commercial is a somewhat direct expressing by Keyz of his stance that women should stop having children.
  • "the coupon code Maury" refers to Maury Povich, a talk-show host known for frequently doing shows on loose women searching for their children's fathers.