Nerraux: (somber tone) Hello. This is Nerraux from The Awful Show. Road rage is an affliction that effects approximately 110 million drivers in the United States and results in billions of dollars in car repairs from accidents. These accidents mainly occur when a driver honks their horn, yells, cuts off, or makes obscene gestures toward other drivers. (gradually more upbeat) At Awful Show Industries, it is our mission to lower the number of accidents each year by making it easier and less distracting to harass other drivers. That's why you should get...
The Keyz Horn!
The Keyz Horn is a bull horn that is mounted under the hood of your vehicle and is preprogrammed with 6 different situation-appropriate phrases you can play from inside your car with the handy remote control. Phrases include...
Keyz: (band pass filtered) The gas is the pedal on the right, dick douche!
Keyz: Hey, cum fart! Do you have a handicapped plate because you drive like a retard?
Nerraux: With the Keyz Horn, you can take all the effort out of Road Rage while still letting your displeasure be heard, loud and clear.
Keyz: Pull over and take public transportation. You'll get there faster, ass bag!
Keyz: Hey, cock stain! "Drive-like-a-Bitch day" was last week! MOVE!
Nerraux: The Keyz Horn is quickly and easily installed with a standard set of automotive tools and is low profile, so no one will even know your car has it, until you're behind them!
Keyz: If you fuck like you drive, maybe I should give your passenger a ride, limp dick!
Nerraux: Take your road rage and put it in the hands of Keyz. Equip your car with...
The Keyz Horn!
Keyz: Hey, douche lips! Your mother moves faster when I'm fucking her in the ass!
Nerraux: The Keyz Horn is available at all AutoBone, Depants Auto Parts and Fred's Automotive Shack locations.
Notes of Interest Edit
- AutoBone and Depants Auto Parts are parody names of auto parts retailers AutoZone and Advance Auto Parts, respectively.